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| Mudwig
INTERVIEW |
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At 11:26, Graeme
Brusby wrote
:
Hi
Mudwig
Here’s
some Q&A for PIMP Mag. Can I have them by
this evening or we won’t let you into Britain.
Don’t worry about
it, I’ll get the answers and edit them to
make you look like an ugly, facist, racist paedophile
and you won’t notice a thing…and they
will stop all credits and benefits.
G:
How do you spell your real name and what is your
address?
M: No.
G:
As a young lad, what was it that made you follow
this creative path?
M: I was told by everyone who ever met me that
I was the greatest artist they had ever seen in
the world ever. To not continue creating would
have caused the earth a grave artistic miscarriage
of cultural loss. Much like the fictional characters
Jesus & Superman with their responsibilities
to mankind, I had no choice.
G:
As a teenager, what did you do for kicks?
M: I became a highly decorated cub scout leader.
G:
When did you first start drinking?
M: After the inquest that got me struck off cub
scoutin’ for kicks.
G:
Tell me about your crew, WSSK?
M: We’re a secret New Labour arts experiment.
Three young artists getting combined government
grants in excess of £120k a year to spend
on computers, booze, drugs, spray paint, sweets
and chocolate. All we have to do in return is
sit around watching TV and drawing stuff.
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G:
What exhibitions have you done in the past three
years?
M: The government gives me a £12K bonus not
to exhibit anymore.
G:
Tell us about your recent trip to Paris?
M: Red wine, white powder, pink bits, black outs.
I’m definitely never allowed in that hotel
again.
G:
Select 5 words which would best describe your work
to a blind person?
M: Phallic, trippy, probably got some U-boats in
it, furry, swell. All looks the same to me.
G:
Mainly what do you use and how do you create your
work?
M: Biros, Apple Macs and lots of coffee bean.
G:
Ever been arrested? Tell
us a little story. M: I’m sick of telling
this one, so all I’ll say is my 6 minute police
chase managed to include almost every TV cop show
chase cliché apart from the ‘running
through someone’s
house/bathroom scenario.’ T’was so clichéd,
I couldn’t stop laughing as I puked and got
bummed by the two oinks who gripped me.
G:
Was your first girlfriend a prude or a slag?
M: The soggy village bike, she was.
G: What are your bank details including passwords?
M: Pin: 5660. Account no: 80777693. The long number:
4739 7803 6396 2907. Why?
G:
Tell me about the future?
M: The future’s bright...no, that’s
a lie. It’s bad; everything’s going
wrong. We’re all gonna die real soon and
lose all the physical things we bought over the
years and we’ll never see any of the people
we love ever again…or even remember what
humans were when we’re all single cell organisms
in waterworld.
G: What’s your poison, sailor?
M: A limey gin guff with a side bump of Cheddar
cider then to home with a sweet, buckled rose
on which to lay my dratting rod.
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G:
Ever dressed up? If yes, what as?
M: Me and my ‘gang’ frequently dress
up as if from whence the 1800s we come: stovepipes,
boots and trenches ‘n’ all that - in
a post-modern, Clockwork Orange stylee. It gives
us a nice big deluded sense of
superiority.
G: If you could have been born an animal, which
one would it be?
M: An elephant? I don’t know, I’d hate
to be an animal. Maybe a shiny black muscle horse
in a green field with a lady horse to bite.
G: Have you ever met someone off the Internet?
M: I try but fail. I tend to get drunk and scare
off 18 year old Canadian girls on Myspace at five
in the morning. I make myself feel seedy.
G: Tell me what you last bought off Ebay?
M: Shiny, black, knee-high Jack boots.
G: If I went to Berlin, where should I spend 20
minutes?
M: Terry Brewer’s 10 hour (yes, ten hour)
walking tour. We tell everyone to do this - especially
in midwinter. It nearly killed us, so we nearly
killed Terry. By the last hour or so in the freezing
rain, nearing Alexanderplatz, I can remember the
point when the endurance sector of my brain gave
up causing me to perform a mild spazzy breakdown
in front of total strangers.
G: Who have you worked for and what did you enjoy/hate
about it?
M: No-one lately, but I’ve got a good job
as a waiter.
G: Which skateboarder do you most admire?
M: Mike Taffe. Such big fingers!
G: If you had an unlimited budget but you had to
buy a piece of art from a dead artist, which one
would it be? M:
Oooh…probably a Neon Park. One from his [Hollywood]
Duck series, I reckon.
M: Can you put www.kuildoosh.com
on there somewhere? |
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